Toxic Feminism: Reclaiming the Beauty of True Masculinity
Can I share a thought that’s been stirring in my heart? It’s a delicate one, the kind you hesitate to say aloud because the air around it feels charged. But here it is:
I believe we’ve let toxic feminism take root in our culture, and its thorns are choking something precious.
Now, I know feminism was meant to empower. It set out to liberate women, to break chains of inequality, and to shatter ceilings of limitation. And yes, many of those victories were necessary and worth celebrating. But somewhere along the way, that noble mission got twisted.
Today’s feminism often trades in empowerment for bitterness. It doesn’t just lift women up—it tears men down. Masculinity is painted as a problem, and words like toxic masculinity roll off tongues with ease, as if being a man is inherently dangerous or destructive.
But what if the issue isn’t masculinity itself, but the misuse of it? And what if feminism has fallen into the same trap—becoming something it was never meant to be?
When Feminism Becomes a Fortress
There’s a version of feminism that builds walls instead of bridges. It whispers:
“You don’t need anyone—not a man, not a partner, not a protector.”
It idolizes independence to the point where dependence—on anyone, even God—is seen as weakness.
This mindset doesn’t just separate women from men; it separates us from the very design God intended for us. It makes us adversaries instead of allies.
I’ve watched it play out in homes where women strive to do it all, juggling careers, households, and families while quietly burning out. I’ve seen men sidelined, unsure of their place, their leadership dismissed, their strength deemed unnecessary.
And I have to ask: Is this the freedom we were promised?
The Strength of Sacred Masculinity
Let me tell you about the men in my life. My father was a man of quiet courage. He didn’t need to shout to lead; his presence alone brought peace. My husband? He leads with love, protects with purpose, and provides with a heart that seeks God first. My male friends are like brothers—protective yet gentle, always ready to offer a listening ear, sound advice, or a shoulder to lean on. They stand as living examples of what it means to lead with strength and love.
This is sacred masculinity.
Not the caricature of aggression or domination, but the reflection of Christ—who leads His bride with tenderness and strength.
True masculinity is a fortress, but not one that imprisons. It shelters. It doesn’t dominate—it defends. It doesn’t harm—it heals.
And sisters, can we be honest? We need it. Our families need it. Our communities need it.
Calling Men to Rise
But here’s the truth: We’ve told men their strength is suspect. We’ve labeled their leadership outdated and their presence optional.
Men, if you’re reading this, hear me: We need you.
Your strength isn’t a threat—it’s a gift. Your leadership isn’t obsolete—it’s ordained. Your presence isn’t optional—it’s essential.
Lead your families with love and humility. Protect the vulnerable, not out of pride, but out of purpose. Provide not just with your hands, but with your heart.
And ladies, let’s stop seeing masculinity as something to fear. Instead, let’s honor it, encourage it, and call it forth in the men around us.
A Dance, Not a Duel
God created us—male and female—not to compete but to complement. Genesis 2:18 reminds us: “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.”
That word helper—it’s not a demotion. It’s a partnership. The same word, ezer, is used to describe God as our helper. It’s a role of strength, not subservience.
When men and women walk together in their God-given roles, it’s not a power struggle; it’s a beautiful dance. Each step, each role, perfectly in rhythm with the other.
Building Together
So, where do we go from here?
First, let’s speak life into the men around us. Words of encouragement, not criticism. Let them know we see their efforts, their sacrifices, their strengths.
Second, let’s raise sons who understand that masculinity isn’t about control but about care. Teach them that their strength is for service, their leadership is for love, and their masculinity is a gift from God.
And finally, let’s pray for the men in our lives. Pray that they would rise into their God-ordained roles and that we, as women, would be their greatest supporters—not their harshest critics.
Because when we embrace our roles as God designed them, we don’t just build homes—we build legacies.
Toxic feminism may try to tear down, but together, we can build something far greater: strong families, strong communities, and a story of unity and strength that reflects the heart of our Creator.
Men, rise.
Women, honor.
Together, let’s build.
